I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
