So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
