"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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