barbara walters just said penis...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
