She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
