She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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