Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
