Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I feel great
I just peed on a car
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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