I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
