I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
