WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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