I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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