it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
