it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
