yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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