The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
