I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
