Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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