People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
