well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Randomize
