I must be too annoying 4 u.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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