dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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