it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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