this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
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