Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
