Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
