i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
