She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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