Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
