Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
