so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
