I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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