the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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