Swine flu. Run for my life!
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
