I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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