Buhtt sex?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
