looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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