oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
