How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
