What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
