On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Please don't give away my fajitas
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
