sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
