The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
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