Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
