remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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