My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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