saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ate ashes out of my bong
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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