brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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