I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
