So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
whose parrot is this?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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