I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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