so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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