This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I had to cum in my sink.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
