After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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