Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
