So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
