Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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