If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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