Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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